September 24, 2016: The Milk (Wo)Man

Women kind of got the short end of the stick when it comes to making babies.

  • They’ve got to carry the little suckers around in their bellies for the better part of nine months.
  • Whether it’s the usual way or by slicing a hole in said belly, I’ve heard that either delivery method is pretty painful.
  • And then when the baby is out and about, they’ve got to spend 18 hours a day milking themselves just to make sure their new kids have something to eat!

I’ve said it before, but if men were responsible for the lion’s share of child birthing woes, the human race would’ve come to a halt roughly after generation #2. Sorry, Mozart and Rembrandt and Einstein, but you know that your great grandfathers would’ve never been caught dead milking themselves… 😛

That’s what I feel sympathy for my wife the most now as she continues to heal from her c-section of eight days ago because as if rest isn’t hard enough with a toddler running around harboring serious Mommy withdrawals after having her away for the last month, but the interruptions every 2-3 hours … including at night … means that pretty much her obligations right now are pumping, pretending to rest, and trying to entertain our toddler with a minimal amount of movement.

And listening to me gripe about still being sick… 😛

Still, it amazes me how she’s doing because even though she’s quite hard on herself and says that her output needs to be higher, I just counted up all of the bottles in the fridge and came to almost half a liter of breastmilk that she’s cranked out just in the last 24 hours since we’ve been to the NICU!

Actually, now it’s more than half a liter because even as I’m typing this, she just finished up another two bottles and added 70 mL or so to the stash … kinda makes me feel like a chump having to get in the car and pay $3.99 for a gallon of skim milk!

I couldn’t do it, that’s for sure. It seems like an interesting process for about five minutes, and after that it’s hard not to think of those educational videos we’d see in school where they take a trip to the farm and see how it’s done with those gigantic machines and all … not exactly fun at that point.

So if you find yourself in the position that I am, hug your breastfeeding and/or pumping wife today – it’s a thankless job and those bottles certainly don’t fill themselves!

Or just let her sleep … maybe that’s a better idea … because you know that her alarm’s going to be going off in another hour and a half anyways…

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