May 13, 2017: Stress Test


Tonight was one of those nights that made me realize I forgot to take my anxiety pill yesterday, and even though I don’t necessarily think it can wear off that fast because it certainly took several weeks to build up in my system … boy, it sure does feel like it can come and go that easily!

When first you step on a train and not only nearly break your leg, but also nearly break your son’s favorite train.

Then your toddler doesn’t want to eat, but he’s ok with climbing all over you while you’re just trying to write one stupid blog post.

Then everybody decides that they want to eat, and take a bath, and sleep – all at the same time!

Then you can’t find pajamas for anybody because there are literally four baskets of clean laundry scattered around the house amid so many piles of dirty clothes.

Then you’re just ready to sit down and eat dinner at 10:00pm because everyone is finally in bed, and you almost step on that stupid train again!

…and you notice the poop stains that now somehow exist on your couch cushions…

Then you accidentally lose your grip on the piece of sushi you’re holding and it splashes into the sauce and makes a gigantic mess!

Then you take lots and lots of deep breaths to fend off the impending panic attack.

Then everybody else finally goes to bed, and you say that you’re going to write but you really don’t, until you finally clack out this ranty post as your final affirmation of a crappy night before finally going to bed!

And then you take another deep breath, and let yourself have a chocolate chip cookie just because. And you make sure to leave your meds by the bedside so you take them first thing in the morning, even though that probably wasn’t even the reason, but at least now it’ll be one less thing to blame.

Goodnight, world.

Goodnight, train.

Goodnight, brain.


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