June 23, 2016: Rollercoaster of Vicodin

I’ve come to the conclusion that I think I would probably be just about one of the most boring drug addicts ever … at least with regards to pain killers.

So I’m now on my second day of Vicodin as we valiantly fight against the boulders that have taken up residence in my various ducts and canals. In this time I’ve learned that Vicodin is considerably more potent to take on an empty stomach than after you’ve eaten, say just for example, half a bag of mini chocolate donuts.

In other words, this afternoon I spent a considerable portion of my day sleeping after taking a Vicodin without having anything to eat along with it.

I feel like maybe they should tell you that when they give you a prescription for Vicodin, or perhaps it’s something that they’d rather you find out on your own to make sure that you’ve really earned it instead of just reading about it in some sort of Vicodin Hint Guide or something…

Still, I must admit that I kind of see why people like this stuff! I’m certainly not advocating for illegal drug use, of course, but if you find yourself in pain and you’d really like to not feel that pain, or possibly anything else at all for the next couple of hours? Vicodin is your guy, let me tell you!

What this post is really about is just seeing if I can drop the name Vicodin enough times that they’ll reach out to me to maybe become a sponsor for my blog or something. Let’s face it – I’m only getting older, and in addition to random stones or whatever else can get lodged inside of my body, it’s probably a pretty safe bet that I’m only going to incur more and more injuries requiring quality pain killers as my years progress. So why not Vicodin?

As a lower-middle-aged American with roughly no level of clumsy that isn’t working against me, I feel like I represent the prime demographic that the people who make Vicodin should be targeting. Vicodinites? Vicodinians? It doesn’t matter – we can figure out a good name to call them after nap time.

Yay, Vicodin! 😉

*** This Thing-a-Day blog post in no way encourages the use of prescription narcotics for recreational use, and the author shall not be held liable for any particularly rewarding naps that legitimate users may experience while under the effects of Vicodin. Vicodin should only be used under directed supervision by a doctor and not simply a family member who’s tired of listening to you complain about the pain that you’re in and wishes you’d just go the fuck to sleep already… ***

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