To inversely quote Homer Simpson – “I prefer funny Halloween, not scary Halloween!”

Seriously, WTF is up with these decorations that I found at Target this afternoon, and what would Cleo think if she found a dog skeleton just laying around the house?! 😯

Maybe it all stems back to an incident that I had trick or treating when I was about eight … a group of my neighborhood friends was being taken around by one of our dads and as we were walking between houses, somebody jumped out of the bushes at me wearing this creepy, black skeleton suit that just looked like nothing but bones in the dark!

I remember throwing my green glow stick at him and running away, which in hindsight I regretted because there weren’t any left for me to have another one, but regardless I’ve just never been a fan of spooky and scary and haunted houses all of that.

I can handle The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror specials.

And whenever the gore is sort of goofy/over-the-top, that’s ok.

But you’ll never ever ever catch me at anything like Howl-o-Scream or Halloween Horror Nights – I don’t even like looking at the billboards for those things when we drive by them! We watched the Halloween episode of You’re the Worst the other day where they go to one of those fully immersive fright nights and even though that was obviously satire … ummm, no thank you.

Give me goofy jack ‘o lanterns and Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween party, and you can save the meat cleavers and dancing skeletons for someone who will really appreciate them / won’t crap their pants the moment they walk in the door… 😉