September 27, 2016: Stardate 2:18am-Walmart

It’s almost never a good idea to go shopping this late at night, as evidenced once again by the things you see here in my cart right now.

Some items are practical – like the diapers and the first aid stuff – that were in fact the reason why I found myself going to Walmart at two o’clock in the morning in the first place.

Other stuff – like the chip dip, and the kitchen organizers, and the really cool pumpkin bowl – those were mere victims of late night shopping-itis when one finds himself asking, “Why not?” and of course, there’s no one else around to tell him why not because it’s in fact two o’clock in the morning! 😯

As far as late night shopping trips go, however, this was admittedly one of the better ones. It was late enough that most of the grocery stock had already been put away, so I wasn’t trying to navigate around pallets every other aisle. And there were literally about four other cars in the parking lot, meaning that interaction with fellow humans in general was pretty much nil. I don’t even think anyone was around when I checked out my own groceries!

That’s the future of shopping for an anti-socialite like myself – you walk around a giant warehouse, leisurely shopping and amusing yourself with funny tweets of the products that you find, but never actually encountering another human the entire time you’re there. You check out and bag your own groceries, and afterwards there’s even a self-service slushy machine that you can ring up a $1.79 cherry slush to enjoy on your ride home.

We’ll get there. 😉

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