Apr 9, 2016: Your Mother Doesn’t Work in the Magic Kingdom Parking Lot

How is it that litterbugs aren’t a class of people who’ve been shunned out of society yet???

When you cut somebody off in traffic or cuss in front of a toddler, it’s still a reasonable excuse to claim that you merely weren’t paying attention, but unless you’re being chased by a group of thugs and the only way to evade them is to lighten the load in your car by throwing your empty soda cups and fast food trash out the window, there’s no excuse left on earth for not putting your garbage where it’s supposed to go like a goddamn adult, or even a child over the age of about three and a half…

Between an evening spent walking around the Magic Kingdom tonight and our subsequent trip back through the parking lot, garbage garbage everywhere seemed to be a recurring theme, and no, I don’t fault Disney so much for this particular lack of magic because when the place quite literally has garbage cans every fifteen feet, it’s not too much to expect a little personal responsibility for the tens of thousands of guests walking through the turnstiles to … I don’t know … actually use those garbage cans instead of just throwing their crap wherever “because they’re on vacation and they paid an arm and a leg for those tickets, you know!”

You may be hung over from a day filled with the magic of sticker shock, but you still know that the cup from your Chick-fil-A handspun milkshake doesn’t belong discretely placed next to your car in the parking lot so that after you leave, the rest of us will be none the wiser that it wasn’t just there all of the time. Or those strollers and wheelchairs that you rented for a pretty penny inside the park, only to conveniently return them in the empty spot next to where you parked your car – nowhere near inside the park where you picked it up in the first place.

Here’s an idea to everyone who complains that tickets to the Magic Kingdom now run upwards of $125 a day:

MAYBE THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO CHARGE SO MUCH IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY CAST MEMBERS TO DO NOTHING BUT PICK UP AFTER THEIR CUSTOMERS WHO CAN’T BE BOTHERED WITH PUTTING STUFF WHERE IT ACTUALLY BELONGS!!!

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