It’s hard to avoid teaching your kid swear words when you walk into his bedroom and your very first comment is, “Oh shit…”

…because apparently sometime overnight he opted to not only remove his diaper, but also smear his shit all over the carpet like he’s some sort of artist who’s chosen medium just happens to be his own feces…

And don’t get me wrong – as much as I’d love for one of my sons to follow in their dad’s footsteps and become an artist, too, maybe I’m just being judgy but I’d rather they steered clear of shit expressionism as an art form. 😛

Over the last couple of years I’ve had to clean poop out of a variety of places … clothing, hair, lots of bedsheets … but this was a first for the carpet. Which is kind of funny because we’ve talked often about how badly the carpets in our house need to be replaced, but if there’s a rubbing literal shit in the carpet-phase that these boys are going to go through then maybe we should just hold off for a few years on that one!

…though I don’t even want to think about what they’re going to look like when we get to that point…

But anyway, as it turns out, dish soap, warm water, and a towel is the best way to get poop out of carpet … or at least this poop, that is. I had originally planned on running our steam cleaner over it all, but time managed to get the best of me as it often does in parenting and ultimately I decided that it wasn’t worth wet carpet delaying his bedtime any longer than necessary. I still probably spent a good half an hour on the floor scrubbing – it was a lot of poop – but I did the best that I good and if nothing else, maybe the lingering poop smell will incline him to refrain from pooping outside of his diaper in the future.

Probably not, but until he’s old enough to clean his own carpet, a dad’s gotta dream…